Find Someone to Confide In

Good morning Gamers!!
Its dark and rainy here in NYC, but the "Son is always shinin' on us", Amen?

We are reading in Proverbs 11 today in the NLTse. My bold print are verses 13 & 14"

14 Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.

13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

Today's focus is on "finding someone to confide in" --because there is safety there.

Let's look at verse 14 first...that's why I listed it first (LOL). Let's substitute the word person for nation and I don't believe we change the meaning of the verse: "without wise leadership a person falls, there is safety in having many advisers" or counselors. Since the verse speaks of a nation, then the wise leadership is the King, right? So, the "many advisers" that a King would have; would have to be trusted. They would be privy to sensitive information about the King, the kingdom, the King's family, etc.

First, we substituted the word person for nation; but now let's get personal and say US or "me". Without wise leadership in my life; I will fall or "I am in trouble" (The Living Bible). So, to protect and preserve the "Nation of ME", I need advisers, no? But, just as the King's advisers have to be trusted, so do OURS!!!

So, now we look at verse 13: "A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.". That is who the King needs to have advising Him and so do we!! We have been taught by Pastor AR Bernard (Feb. '05) about the "spatiality of relationships". Simply put, there are "spaces" in our lives that people occupy and everyone cannot occupy certain spaces that are close to us. That space is where they see the real me with all my flaws. Pastor Bernard went on the say:

"The space that a person occupies in our life -- has to be based on their level of maturity. If you bring an immature person into a space that is close to you; you will suffer the problems associated with their immaturity"

WOW! I have been there before....what about YOU?

So, to find the person(s) that we can confide in - we must understand the progression (levels) of relationships; which are:

1. Introduction: in which you gain minimal information and you get a first impression of them. But, first impressions are not always the right ones. It may take time to dispel a wrong first impression!
2. Acquaintance: the relationship goes from the surface level and you begin to talk about things, etc.
   
3. Friendship: the relationship moves from surface to a closer bond and more sharing.
   
4. Intimacy: the closest level where you are both "naked" and vulnerable, in your relationship, and are not ashamed.

*** Note: at each level of the progression each person becomes more and more vulnerable to the other.

So, as we can see, an adviser or counselor must be trustworthy so as to keep a confidence. But, that relationship has to progress through levels that establish trust. Then you can share anything and know they will advise you well because YOU TRUST THEM!

Pray for me, Gamers -- I have struggled with this because I have been burned many times. But, God has placed great people in my life and I am continuing to learn to trust. I will pray for YOU as well!

Stay in the Game!